The best Canadian is a Non-Canadian


Let me begin by saying I like Canada. I love looking at snow on trees and the various restaurants that deliver. I am sure in time there will be a few more charms but I highly doubt they will come from people. When I am not spending the day indoors avoiding the cold I am in contact with not so friendly people. Customer service in Toronto has to be one of the worse things I have experienced in my life. When they are not avoiding eye contact they treat you like you have disrupted their perfectly good day by asking where the DVD section is. I think the interactions I have with people makes me the optimistic person I am. When I go to Baskin Robbins it makes me feel good to know the scoop girls shares in my fondness of Jamoca Almond Fudge. I expect the waiter to ask how my day is going and when I tell him I like to assume he actually cares. I know deep down inside he doesn’t but it makes me feel good to be ignorant. I enjoy sharing a laugh with the sales girl ringing up my sweater. To Canadians this does not mean much but as an American this could make or break my day. I will forget about these people and they will forget about me but for one moment we were doing a lovely dance. I showed interest,they cared,we did business without pissing each other off and walked away having fulfilled both our needs.The world is a happy smooth running machine and I am part of it.

I took Bruno for a check up yesterday and the vet made me feel like I was ruining her day. She began by calling my cat filthy and smelly then she got angry when my cat started meowing and not staying still. She was not use to a cat with cat like traits. She then decided to engage the receptionist in a conversation about my cat being so big yet having such a loud high pitch meow. You know,when cats are shoved into a carrier they tend to be a little upset.I could tell she was a true Canadian. Their lack of manners is easy to spot.

I have had a few good experience with people in Toronto. The guy at the Mexican food place drank a daiquiri with me. Many of the taxi drivers I have met have been very friendly. The best Canadians I have met (besides my friends) have been Non-Canadians. They have yet to have their spirits crushed. They still have hope.

I am not angry at you Canada. I am not even very mad. You see,as a middle child I understand. You don’t care because no one cares for you. When was the last time someone asked “So what is Canada up to these days?”. Who even knows what the Canadian president (or Prime Minister as they like to say) does? (Ours started a war , fell off a Segway scooter, and choked on a pretzel while watching tv). Some don’t even know what language is spoken in Canada,eh? Before I moved here the only thing I knew about Canada was this is where John Candy and Canadian bacon (the delicious pizza topping,not the movie) came from. I can understand the bitterness, I may be angry too if Tupac didn’t sing a song for me.


If being standoffish was Canadians only problem that may be fine but  some are quick to point out the flaws of their neighbor (America). I will be the first to admit Americans are annoying. We are loud and lack manners, this is what I hear and this is very true. Very true. Just look at our reality shows, a representation of the American persona.


We make no shame of this. We avoid subtle. So yes Canada,there is no need to remind me, I KNOW we lack some social manners but you never say hello. People who live in glass igloos shouldn’t throw hockey pucks.


2 Responses to “The best Canadian is a Non-Canadian”

  1. chrissy Says:

    ya, i’m totally pro-california. really. melissa and i went through this whole phase when i was living here in prague the first time and she in beijing and we would send letters back and forth praising california and dissing our respective international situations. of course, i like it here as i returned (and not just for some dick!), but california definitely is special.

    i’m all too familiar with coldness and horrible customer service. let’s just say, without being too offensive or making too big of a generalization, that czechs have got this shit down to a science. but, for me, sometimes i don’t mind because really i find chitty-chatty, nose-up-your-ass, overly friendly style american service a tad bit on the obnoxious side. do i want the grumpy 45 year old czech cashier to take my order and then completely ignore me and forget to give it to me? (happened once- was buying some candied nuts, i actually had to say in bad czech that um, hey i paid, where are my nuts?) no, but i also don’t want my server in some denny’s trying to chat me up about the weather either. give me my flapjacks woman!

    i’m sure it’s hard there though. it’s one of those cultural differences that takes some getting used to. try doing it through a foreign language. last night, i got really cranky because elias and i went to his local bar and he was talking, for like 4 hours in czech about all sorts of things and all i could do was sit there like an american bump-on-a-log and guzzle beer and understand every fourth or so word which when you’re talking about astrology, sex, butt beads (incidentally in czech- analni kulichky), or the configuration of women’s genitalia, doesn’t amount to much.

    ok, i’ll keep up on your blog more. i promise.
    americans rule and canadians drool.

  2. amiescott Says:

    Your vet was a dink.

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