2009: Like 2008 but with snow!

I can honestly say ringing in 2009 was no different from last year or the year before. I start off with good intentions and end up at a strange place with one less scarf.


2007 began with Pamela kissing me at midnight at the Art School in Glasgow. Fast forward 6 hours later where I am in a random house with a puppy and a teenage ginger fellow on ecstasy. I don’t recall them very well but I do recall my missing scarf, it was black and gray. Man, I loved that scarf. I also recall pointing and laughing at Pamela in front of everybody because she was kissing a bald dude.


2008 began with me kissing Amanda and Sharissa at a Dan Deacon concert also in Scotland and ended with me up at 9am drunk playing guitar hero with Ian and his friends. I don’t recall much except I am sure I was angry about losing the black scarf I bought to go with my new years dress. I also recall making my friend give me a piggy back ride all through Glasgow because he was tall and I needed to keep an eye out for my scarf.

Now it is 2009 and I am without my white scarf. I even decided I was gonna wear the scarf all night to avoid losing it. I drank until my scarf decided it was time to leave. Perhaps there is some sort of witness protection program for scarfs I violated with my drunken antics. I do recall slapping a fat guy on the belly and comparing him to a sumo wrestler.

I enjoy the holidays but they do cause me to black out and lose things. Most of the time its my dignity and self respect but on specials days it is clothing and sometimes even friends. This just goes to show that it doesn’t matter if you are in Scotland, California, or even safe Canada, if you are Shalome, and it is a holiday, and it is cold enough to wear a scarf, and you begin the night saying “I am going to pace myself”, and you think it is fun to harass people or treat them as servants, then you will not wake up in your bed with all of your belongings.


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