Thank you

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It was three years ago today that I lost one of my best friends. This is the first year I am awake and sober to reflect on him. And I am a bit saddened to admit I am not so sad anymore.

Chris Lewis once told me, after being dumped by his first boyfriend and feeling lousy, that  everyday he hurts a little less. This has always stuck in my mind. People told me, after Dave died, that I would be okay but I didn’t believe them. I felt like I would never experience happiness again. But the words, everyday hurts a little less, seemed more plausible. When someone tells you everything is okay they might as well tell you there are aliens out there. I prefer Lewis and his tales of jackalopes.

Things are not okay. They are just different. Now, instead of spending April 11th hiding from people, drinking, and crying about the life he took from me I can watch a movie with my Davy Jr. and think of the ways I am better for knowing him. He was an amazing person and I am one of the special people that got to know him.

I met him when I was 18 and for almost 10 years he put my silly ass in check when I was being a complete moron. He always reminded me I am not what I own, I am not who I know, the outside world doesn’t matter. He was the one that talked me out of all the many implants, tummy tucks, lifts and such I wanted in my low self esteem 20’s. He worked for one of the top companies in America and drank with hobos and punks in Golden Gate park. In the 10 years I knew him he always drove very nice Mustangs but I do not recall him ever buying new clothes and god forbid that guy goes somewhere that requires him to wear shoes. He brought his own “drinking chair” to parties and wore socks when he wanted to be “fancy”. He kept his important documents in a kids teddy bear folder I got him for Christmas and walked around my moms house half naked when my own brothers feel weird being seen without socks on. He was the kind of guy a group of thugs could drink with and your momma still likes. I have had one brother throw up on him, one friend fart on him, and another (male)friend bite his nipple on the dance floor. He didn’t mind.
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One Response to “Thank you”

  1. chrissy Says:

    oh, i am sorry i havent read your blog in awhile, but glad i did. i already LOL’ed about 7 times, but of course this particular blog didn’t make me LOL. Except for the part about the drinking chair.

    my favorite dave memory was probably the time that the 3 of us got drunk at the Pied Piper, went back to the folks’s house and watched ‘the video’. that image is forever burned into mind.

    i am sorry i didn’t see this sooner, but glad i did and glad to be reminded of the fun memories.

    and i always liked dave because he liked it when i mocked you and talked in a retard voice.

    and just for the record: i dumped my first boyfriend, he didn’t dump me! but it still hurt.

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