Shalomes house of wackiness

Lately my house has been turned into a mad house full of crazy creatures and special guests. I just sit on my couch and observe.

The star of the show:

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This adorable creature has been following me non stop for three years. Everywhere I go she is right under me. When I attempt to talk on the phone she barks. When I play the clarinet she bites my feet. She is also fond of stealing money from my purse, socks and underwear disappear around her, and she hides cookies under my blankets. I love her but she does not believe in giving people their space. Even with the neediness, cat butt sniffing and anger issues she is the one who kisses me every morning and hugs me to sleep every night.

The mean assistant:

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Then there is this guy. When I first got Bruno he didn’t care much for attention. He just needed food and shelter and he was happy. Now he is beginning to show some Davy traits. He follows me everywhere I go, insists on sleeping next to me, and attacks people. He has recently began to work with Davy on destroying my home. He rips open garbage bags then Davy drags the garbage in my house. Bruno knocks stuff off the counter for Davy to eat it and just today I witnessed Bruno pulling an open bag of chips out of a grocery bag and just looking at Davy. Then two seconds later Davy walks over and begins eating. I stopped her but this just gave me a glimpse of how these two work together to ruin me.

The “special” guest:

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Then there is this fool who comes over bringing snacks and fun. He is considered “the fun human” in this house. He stops by every Sunday with pets and attention.He enjoys their company and never complains when he wakes from a nap smothered in animals. He finds their humping, hunting, licking, and  snoring lovely. He is also very good at making me look like a grumpy asshole in front of my roommates.

While I am laid up suffering from some unknown stomach ailment these three creatures keep me entertained.

Thanks!

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2 Responses to “Shalomes house of wackiness”

  1. New Socks for a New Life « The Grumpy Owl Says:

    […] forbidden entry into Canada.  Without going into detail, this means that I’ve moved into her apartment to look after her cat, Bruno, and dog, […]

  2. New Socks for a New Life | The Grumpy Owl Says:

    […] forbidden entry into Canada.  Without going into detail, this means that I’ve moved into her apartment to look after her cat, Bruno, and dog, […]

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