Doing stuff

Lately I have traded in nights of drinking endlessly and mornings of gut wrenching hang overs with Reese Witherspoon movies for activities in Toronto. This city is very lively and it is about time I stop complaining about the awful weather and enjoy all the excitement around me. Last year I had a chance to catch a baseball game, watch some local theater, go to a Canadian Football game, and go to the Ex twice!

I also went to a Rodeo.

I have never actually been to a rodeo so I didn’t know what to expect. I did think beer and country rock was customary. Then again, I am in Toronto. Instead of some down home hooting and hollering I saw people sip merlot and clap politely. Since I went alone I kept my fist pumps, USA chants, and studio audience jeers to a minimum. I did laugh nervously when I saw a real life rodeo clown.

I am not scared of clowns but I do find something creepy about the men that take on such an occupation. They tend to be miserable drunks. When I was 8 years old I was pushed to the ground by  McGruff the Crime Dog after asking for a hug. I know people in costumes aren’t clowns but they are in the same category. Jerks.

I also went to Monster Jam last week.

Last time I went to a monster truck show I got into a fight with some 9 year old kid that claimed Grave Digger and myself suck and suggested we both enter hell.

This Monster Jam was less violent but I was lucky enough to witness many cars flipping. I do enjoy crashes.Other cars just died for no reason. They would drive onto the track, build up my hopes, then just die. The Grumpy Owl put it best when he said “Toronto is where cars,and dreams, come to die.” Very very true.

Much like the rodeo, Monster Jam lacked shirtless men and kids cursing. They did sing both national anthems and I am proud to say that I represented America well, having no problem being the only person singing and stomping about to The Star Spangled Banner.

Next week I am taking my companion to Little House on the Prairie the Musical. Then the week after that I am taking him to his first professional basketball game. It is going to be the Toronto Raptors vs the Sacramento Kings. I hope the Kings have better luck here than those trucks had.


One Response to “Doing stuff”

  1. Owl Pellets for January 23rd through January 24th | The Grumpy Owl Says:

    […] Doing stuff « Jankypanky – Shalome's take on MONSTER JAM. I forgot that I said "Toronto is where cars and dreams come to die." If I had of remembered, I'd have used that joke instead of the one about Rogers Centre being as hard on cars as it was on Troy Glaus's knees. Because, what reader of mine even knows who the fuck Troy Glaus is? […]

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