Where did I go?

I haven’t posted anything new in a month. Sometimes you just wanna zone out with tv and ice cream after a hard days work. But I have been keeping myself busy. While mentally planning a wedding I have been going to placement for school and getting food thrown at my face. I did go see my first basketball game here in Toronto. The Raptors killed the Sacramento Kings promoting me to jot down this letter I was going to eventually mail to Geoff Petrie, the President of Basketball Operations for the Kings:

“Dear Mr. Petrie,

I recently witnessed my Kings get demolished by the evil Raptors. Now I am not claiming to be an expert at the sport you called basketball, and in fact the last game I watched was five years ago and it was a Mavericks game, but last I checked basketball involved throwing a ball into a hoop for points.What I witnessed was a bunch of overpaid kids throwing a ball in the general direction of the hoop (during good plays) and not even caring. We were able to get ahead at one point thanks to the very dark skin dude and the white guy, but then #23 would get back on the court and ruin everything (perhaps he is a spy for the other team?). In the future when there is a draft can you please get people that have played basketball before. Also if you can have a chat with #23 that would be nice.

Thank you,

Shalome”

I never sent this letter but as if Jesus himself heard my cries #23 was traded. I am not saying I am special and the man upstairs does my bidding, I am just saying you better hope I am on your side.

I have also had some unpleasant Canadian experiences. First I have been going to a coffee shop called Tim Hortons. There was also a hockey player with the same name. I am not sure if he created the place or if it is just named after him. All I know is that they look at you crazy if you ask for a Soy Double Double (coffee with two sugars and two creams-as yes I just googled what a Double Double is). I only ordered it because I saw a sign offering it. This place does not do fancy, or even slightly different coffee. It’s a step down from Starbucks but a step up from AM/PM. It’s like a fancy Dunkin’ Donuts.

Anyways I have been going to Tim Hortons in the morning to grab a sesame seed bagel with garden herb cream cheese and bacon for breakfast. Three time already I get to work only to realize they forgot my freakin bacon!!!! I am already at work and can’t go back so I decided to send them an email. Much like the email I sent to the Mars Bar company asking for the return of Peanut Butter Snickers and the email I sent to Jimboys Tacos asking for a Toronto branch, I assumed this email would get ignored. Nope, not Timmys! They had a representative call and thank me for my email and give the Bloor/Christie branch my number. They called and asked me to come in but I am scared they might have agents there waiting to deport me.

Because ever since Olympic fever hit Canadians scare me.

(Canada has fans!)

It’s like the role of the Canadian and American have switched. They want to “Own The Podium” which in my ears translates to “Blow Up A Brown Country”. In my many years of living in America I have never cared for the Olympics, and if I happen upon a sport I rooted for Canada. They were all small and quiet up there. Minding there own business. They aren’t the toughest or smartest or most attractive country. And at times even their neighbor forgot they existed.But they did. And I liked them.

But now they are loud and obnoxious and frankly acting too big for their britches. It makes me feel alone. Like a burnt out diva surrounded by new school pop stars.

(USA! USA!)

Remember me?!?!?

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